


I hate myself-oneshot

by letmeputuonhold



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Body Dysmorphia, Depression, Gen, dance, mom seonghwa, wooyoung needs more love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25759000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmeputuonhold/pseuds/letmeputuonhold
Summary: Wooyoung struggles with body image and depression.
Kudos: 8





	I hate myself-oneshot

For me, dance was an escape.

A way to get away from all the thoughts, away form my worst enemy-myself. I was never good enough, strong enough. Everything was always my fault. I wanted out, I wanted it to end.

The only escape was dance. I would just find an empty practice room, turn up some music and dance until i felt better. I'd practice coreo, I'd do freestyle, whatever it was, it was a distraction. I was doing the one thing I knew I was good at, and it helped me see some decency in myself. 

Until dance turned against me too.

I am not a fat person, but when you're working with other students who are all incredibly skinny and muscular, you can't help but compare yourself to them. And when you do, it's hard to stop. Eventually, it's hard to find any good in yourself at all. I head to the studio and practice nailing moves until late at night, but all I can hear is my instructor's voice echoing in my head, telling me I'm not good enough. I train until I literally collapse at the dorm. Seonghwa still gives me concerned looks, but he learned quickly enough not to push, now simply handing me a bowl of food and helping me get to bed. 

I go to bed.

I get up.

I begin the battle against myself all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly inspired by my own struggles with body image in the ballet industry coupled with depression. 
> 
> Wooyoung, I hope you're doing amazing!! ily


End file.
